Aka me.
Wake up (slowly & begrudgingly).
Check weather forecast. -32, windchill -48.
Decide to walk to work regardless.
Start thinking of where in the house all the layers are hidden that will be required.
Ready to head out the door, add 15 minutes in order to get all layers assembled and donned.
Step outside and head to work.
To all observers, appear as a rotund mismatch of an assortment of winter gear.
Silently count layers in head: Hiking boots. Longjohns. Jeans. Lined track pants. Tank top. Sweater. Fleece. Fleece vest. Fleece. Winter shell. New mitts. Scarf. Toque.
Trek noisily along on the windblown snow. Scrunch scrunch scrunch scrunch scrunch *slip* scrunch.
Discover the state of overheating only 10 minutes into the 30-minute walk.
Agonize over whether or not to delayer. Will the windchill hit as soon as said delayering occurs?
Remove mitts before hands explode from heat. Appreciate the fact that the new mitts actually work.
Arrive at the wind tunnel. Aka downtown.
Decide it’s a good thing said delayering never transpired.
Arrive at work with mascara dots all around the eyes.
Shuffle into work area amidst looks of incredulity and awe (it is possible this is an exaggeration. Except for the bit about ‘looks.’).
Spend the next hour climbing out of layers, changing into work pants, and discussing how cold it is outside with coworkers, as well as the stupidity of a surprisingly large number of people who wear typical winter gear (aka for -10 degree weather), sans toque.
Work.
Opt out of arguing when boss says, “Let’s aim to leave by 3:30 so I can give you all a ride home so you don’t have to go outside in the cold.”
Okay sure, not a problem.
Get home at 4:00, plug in car to prepare for the possibility of evening travels.
Try to figure out what food is on hand in order to avoid having to go outside and purchase victuals at grocery store.
Document activities for future Arctic explorers’ benefit.
Adendum - sheepishly discover old set of mitts in pocket of winter shell as boss is driving everyone home. Yes, these would be the mitts that have been missing since returning home from Christmas. Yes, these would be the 'missing' mitts that subsequently caused the purchasing of the new mitts (YESTERDAY) that caused the overheating this morning. *Ahem.* This adendum is hereby completed.
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2 comments:
good gollee, and I start feeling all sorry for myself when the radio says it's thirty-four degrees F (what's that, like 1 degree C?) outside.
in my defense, the house has no heat. So when it's freezing outdoors, it's also freezing outside my thick warm blanktes.
I laughed at your comment about the mascara. I remember walking home from an interview in Ottawa in -40 degree weather...when I arrived back at the house my house-mates commented: "Uh, you know you have mascara dotted all around your eyes." From then on I bought 'waterproof'. :-)
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